Envy vs. jealousy
Scenario 1:
So your neighbor just got a hot, new car that makes your get-along heap look a tad uncool. And yes, you would love an auto just like your neighbor’s — same smart color, same moon roof, same front heated seats. Do you envy your neighbor or are you jealous of your neighbor?
Scenario 2:
Your man (or woman), who is a hottie by all accounts, is suddenly partnered up with an equally attractive co-worker for a rousing three-legged race at the employee picnic, and you (who recently sprained your left big toe and have to sit on the sidelines) are forced to watch the two of them hobble and giggle all the way to the finish line. Assuming you’re not the perfect mate who cares not a whit about this situation, are you just a teensy bit jealous or are you a little envious?
Envy
Envy is one of the seven deadly sins. The decidedly Christian list also includes lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath and pride. Although the listed items are also mentioned as being not very good things throughout all kinds of religions, early Christians corralled them into a list. (Interesting note: Pride usually “wins” for being the most horrid of all the sins.)
Envy can be described as an insatiable desire for something, either material or intangible. It implies that someone desperately wants something that another has, and that the desperate person wishes that the person (who has ownership of the wanted thing) would not have that thing.
Really, it’s not a nice feeling to have; hoping that someone else experiences failure or loss simply does not build ones’ self-esteem up, no matter which way you look at it. Let it go, people. Live and let live. Give peace a chance.
Jealousy
A person is jealous if he or she has something (or someone or an ability) that he or she deems cool, and he or she would do just about anything to not lose that cool thing. That person may believe that someone (anyone) is out to get that cool thing, so that person lives life always looking over his or her shoulder, assuming that something bad is about to happen or someone is about to steal the cool thing.
That’s a depressing way to live. What’s the old saying? If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it was never yours in the first place. There you go.
Here’s the psychologist version: If you love somebody, set him or her free. If the person comes back, his or her super ego is dominant. If the person doesn’t come back, his or her id is supreme. If the person doesn’t go, he or she must be crazy. Ha!
Are you envious or are you jealous?
Let’s look at Scenario 1: your neighbor’s groovy car. If you wish you had that car — man, that’s the best car on the planet! — you might be a tad envious. Now, maybe you don’t hope that your neighbor gets a door ding that first week; that’s very big of you. But if you still wish you could have a car like that, you’re still considered envious. If you simply think that your neighbor has worked hard and deserves a beauty of a car like that, then you can admire the car all day long, and your inner you will feel ethereal. Well done.
Now for Scenario 2: the hottie partnered with your hottie. I suppose you can guess this one. If you can’t believe your bad luck (i.e., cast on left big toe during the company picnic), keep an eagle eye on the other hottie to make sure that he or she keeps hands appropriately placed during the three-legged race and secretly hope that the prerace lunch gives said hottie a case of the tummy blues before the rope makes it around the third leg, you’re jealous. If you think, “Hey, my mate lucked out; that partner is going to be lightning-fast on the field and they’re going to win the nifty award,” then you’re a well-adjusted person and could teach the rest of us a thing or two. Well done!
Happy trails!
SAK
Tags: clown car, envious, envy, jealous, jealousy, seven deadly sins
I really enjoyed this one. Well done. Some random thoughts:
- Might pride be the worst (or best, dependent on one’s point of view) of the 7 deadlies as a carry-over from the Greek’s hubris? Aeschylus, Sophocles, Euripides and the boys made a killing peddling hubris to the masses.
- What does the AP have to say about double negatives? They have occurred with increasing frequency and now you are using it. Is it now acceptable to use double negatives? Is “Friends” to blame?
- Is three-legged race a euphemism?
I aim to please. Glad you like it!
Concerning hubris: Absolutely! It is the natural precursor to modern-day pride. Hubris was a considered a crime back in those days; in addition to referring to the perpetrator as the one full of pride, it also included the humiliation caused by such pride and the accompanying violence that often ensued (thus, pride affecting someone other than the self made it, perhaps, worthy of being punishable by law). It was bad enough to bring shame upon oneself by parading about, but adding insult to injury by harming someone else in order to make oneself seem more important was not acceptable. Oedipus, Achilles and especially Icarus come to mind.
Double negatives: You’ll have to point out where I used a true double negative (i.e., two forms of negation in the same clause). The AP Stylebook, like most stylebooks, does not endorse the use of double negatives. However, they are a great tool if your writing is meant to imply a dialect (such as Cockney or Southern) or if you’re trying to emphasize something; playing with the language in such a way can make all the difference in a play or script, with actors working the meaning with inflections. Poetry, too, can incorporate double negatives with success.
Three-legged race a euphemism? I’ll leave that up to you to interpret as you wish!
Isn’t this not a double negative – Assuming you’re not the perfect mate who cares not a whit about this situation? Shouldn’t it be either the perfect mate that doesn’t care or the imperfect mate that does? I read it last night under the influence and was confused. Today in a slightly less cloudy state of mind it still makes my head hurt.
Nope, that’s not a double negative because the two negative parts are not in the same clause. “Assuming you’re not the perfect mate” is one clause, and “who cares not a whit” is a second clause. Neither option you provided would work because they both change the meaning of the sentence. The assumption is that you’re NOT the ideal mate who can handle any situation with grace. And I think your head might be hurting due to the influence of the night before instead of my writing. (At least that’s what I’m telling myself!) Ibuprofen and a tall, cool glass of water work better than any writing of mine in that matter, anyway.
Isn’t “Isn’t this not a double negative” a double negative?
Oh, yeah, absolutely. Good eye!