Ah, homophones: They are the average speller’s Achilles’ heel. A homophone is a word that is pronounced like one or more other words but has a different meaning, derivation or spelling. A most frequent example: To, too and two all sound alike, but they have different meanings. Here is a short list of frequently misused homophones, with simplified definitions that are — most obviously — in my vernacular (and yes, this is a short list, believe it or not):
Stationery = something you write obligatory notes on
Stationary = when something doesn’t move
Complementary = when something makes something else look good
Complimentary = when something is included, free of charge, or when someone offers a compliment (How you doin’?)
Hay = stuff that is supposed to be fun to jump in but scratches like the dickens
Hey = a casual greeting that I use way too much
Prays = what John Q. Public does when he’s choosing lotto numbers
Preys = something that a hungry tiger does on the antelope trail
Praise = what B.F. Skinner called positive reinforcement
Sleigh = Santa’s version of an SUV
Slay = the act of killing something or someone, with lethal weapon or with wit
Patients = those folks in hospitals and doctor’s offices
Patience = what Axel Rose needed back in the day
Maid = someone who makes your bed, disinfects your toilet and dusts your stuff — but doesn’t do windows
Made = something you created or put together
Aid = helping someone or something
Aide = the fantastic person helping you
Wade = trying to walk through something that hinders movement, such as a pool of water or tub of pudding
Weighed = what you did this morning — buck-naked, butt-naked or just plain naked, after emptying your bladder and exhaling but before drinking a cup o’ joe
Brake = the thing on your car that lets you stop (more than one if you’re lucky)
Break = gimme a ________, or when you drop a plate of your mom’s good china
Stake = the thing in the ground if you’re lucky, in your heart if you’re not
Steak = something vegetarians gladly do without
Vein = the bluish lines in your forearm
Vain = Carly Simon sang about it, famously, though it wasn’t about you
Vane = a thing that helps show direction
Bass = a low, low singing voice, or an instrument that gives your fingers serious calluses
Base = the bottom or first part of something, or placement on the baseball field, or which one you’re on depends how lucky you are
Naval = something to do with the sea
Navel = something to do with your tummy, or a kind of orange
Wave = in an ocean or a pool, or hi-ya, or shoo-fly
Waive = when you give up your rights
Hair = on your head and/or your legs
Hare = rabbit
Peak = the tippy-top of something, such as Pike’s Peak in Colorado
Peek = a quick or sheltered look at something you probably shouldn’t be looking at anyway
Pique = irritating someone else, or getting someone’s attention, sometimes annoyingly
Piece = a part of something, or a weapon
Peace = not a weapon
Here = not there
Hear = what?
Flier = an aviator, or something that gets slipped under your windshield wiper when you run into the store for 15 seconds
Flyer = the official name of some transportation and sports teams, as well as a maker of little red wagons
Cord = a long, ropelike item, or a bunch of wood, or an emotional tug
Chord = the usually lovely sound of several notes being played on an instrument at the same time
Your = not mine
You’re = contraction of you + are
Yore = long, long ago
There = not here
Their = not mine or ours
They’re = contraction of they + are
Its = not mine or yours, but ____
It’s = contraction of it + is
Palette = the classic image: what the painter holds as he/she is painting a masterpiece
Pallet = a small, hard bed, or something of that size that you stack a bunch of stuff on
Cannon = goes BOOM
Canon = church dogma, or a group of related works, or a particular type of musical composition
Capitol = a particular federal or state building (uppercase when referring to a specific building, such as the U.S. Capitol in Washington, D.C.)
Capital = the city where a seat of government is located, or money, stuff and/or property used in a business
Mat = a flat piece of carpet-like fabric that you wipe your feet on
Matte = a sheen that’s not shiny in the least
Council = a group of folks sitting around, drinking coffee, making decisions
Counsel = giving advice, usually asked for
Retch = ooh, not feeling so good
Wretch = a sorry sucker, down on his/her luck
Desert = can be hot, dry, barren
Dessert = can be cold, wet, loaded with goodies
Accept = to take something as your own, whether it’s a lost puppy or an idea
Except = to exclude, whether it’s a lost puppy or an idea
Chile = a country, or something originating from that country
Chili = a type of pepper, great in guacamole, or a steaming bowl of seasoned beans and/or ground beef
Chilly = boo-coldies
Gorilla = big, hairy ape (not your boyfriend)
Guerrilla = warriors who don’t play nice
Immanent = something inherent (beauty is immanent, so they say)
Imminent = something at the ready (old age is imminent, so they say)
Principal = the boss at school, or the most important thing
Principle = a fundamental idea, or the origin of something
Discrete = the distinctness of a thing
Discreet = showing great judgment in the face of adversity, or modesty, or unobtrusive behavior
Bazaar = a groovy place to shop
Bizarre = weird, wild stuff
Altar = a raised structure on which some people offer sacrifice, literally or figuratively
Alter = to change something, such as a hemline or an attitude
Phew — and that’s the short list!
Happy trails!
SAK
