Bloody Well Write

So I’m now a tried-and-true 40-something (which, btw, reminds me of “Thirtysomething,” which was one of the best TV shows ever) and, in my entire life and career as a student, teacher, proofreader, editor, copywriter and marketer, I’ve never had to use a particular key on the keyboard — until now.

Why now, you ask? Because, dear readers, I have recently accepted a new position at a way-cool advertising agency in Haysville, Kan. That agency is Armstrong|Shank. And Armstrong|Shank has this quirky little stroke in its name: |.

I’d seen that stroke before at some point in my life. Surely (don’t call me Shirley) I had. At some point, right? But I’d never needed to use it. Again, until recently. So here’s the story.

I was corresponding with the higher-ups at the agency and wanted to use the agency name in an e-mail back to them. But where the heck was that mark? I searched throughout the Symbols field in Microsoft Word. Nope, not there. Perhaps next to the ampersand or plus sign along the top of the keyboard? Not there, either. Sheesh. So I copied and pasted the agency’s name — funny little line and all — from one of their e-mails to me back into an e-mail to send to them. Sneaky, huh?

Then I happened to see that same little sign on some new business cards being produced for work and asked a co-worker how the heck he made that little vertical line. Imagine my surprise/dismay/embarrassment when he showed me where it was — smack-dab on the right side of the keyboard. All I had to do was hold the Shift key and tap the Backward Slash key (granted, that’s another key I don’t use but once in a very blue moon).

So I recounted this story to my husband, and he said,” Well, sure. That’s the pipe.”

And then I mentioned it to a another writer who immediately said, “Yeah, that’s the pipe.”

What? I am the only adult around who’s never heard of this name? Good grief.

I’m guessing that I’m not alone in not knowing. But as with every situation in life, there’s always more to learn, so I’m passing along this little bit of keyboard wisdom to you — just in case you’re in my boat and not in the I-already-knew-that boat.

So — the vertical bar. It’s also widely known as “the pipe” (from Unix origins). It has a variety of applications, most of which are mathematical, computing and related to physics (thus three powerful reasons why I’m not familiar, if you get my drift). Since this is a grammar site rather than a mathematical one, I’m going to leave it at this: The vertical bar is a great tool to divide space or thought in a graphic, visual way. It can also be used as the symbol in the International Phonetic Alphabet to represent the place of articulation of dental clicks.

The more I learn ….

Happy trails!

SAK

A name is a person’s identity. Screw it up in copy and you’ll earn the ire of said person and any of said person’s true friends. Let’s cover the basics so that you can save yourself some angst and make the person (or animal or company) you’re writing about a happy camper:

• Use the person’s first and last name (and middle if he or she requests it) on first reference. Use the last name only on subsequent mentions.

• When referencing two people with the same last name (say you’re interviewing a married couple — Bob and Bobbie Bobbins), use first and last names on every mention to avoid confusion.

• When referring to young people (i.e., under 18), use their first name on subsequent mentions as long as the story or copy is not ultraserious (i.e., if they didn’t just commit a serious crime).

NOTE: The AP Stylebook has a rule about using first names for those under 15 and last names for those 18 and older; if the child is 16 or 17, AP says to use the surname unless it’s a light-hearted story. Why do 16- and 17-year-olds get this separation? I don’t get it. Maybe because if they commit a serious crime, they are more likely to be tried as an adult since they are so close to being 18. I don’t write for a newspaper, so I think that the “under or over 18” distinction is plenty good enough for other types of writing that don’t deal with this sort of issue. Anyway, I’d be a little leery of using a little kid’s real name (especially the first name) very often — especially if there is a picture attached. There are nutzos out there and anything we can do to make the realization of their intentions more difficult is a good thing.

• Do not add a space between two initials, such as J.R. Ewing (not J. R. Ewing) and B.B. King. Why? Because typesetting can unwittingly cause one initial to stay on the tail end of a line and the other initial to land at the beginning of the next line — and that would look like poop.

• Team names and band names (take this one with a grain of salt and a raspberry margarita if you can) — according to AP, team and band names take plural verbs, even if it sounds weird. It should be The Wichita Wings are playing tonight, The Wichita Wind are not playing tonight, The Cult are an amazing band (with a fantastic lead singer) and The White Stripes rock like mad.

The Cult — Electric (released April 1987)

NOTE: This rule is a hard one to follow, in my opinion (and I think Bill Walsh would agree with me, since he wrote the following on Page 170 of his book “Lapsing Into a Comma”:

Follow the usual rules of subject-verb agreement when confronted with one of those newfangled singular collective team names that seem to be especially popular in Florida. (Let’s see, we have the Orlando Magic, the Miami Heat, the Tampa Bay Lightning, the non-Florida Colorado Avalanche and Utah Jazz, and too many teams to mention in the newer leagues, such as soccer and women’s basketball.)

Wrong: The New Jersey Sludge are 7-0.
Right: The New Jersey Sludge is 7-0.

Yes, it sounds odd, but it sounds even more odd to trash logic in favor of consistency and make all teams plural. … Band names work the same way: The Beatles were great. The Who was great.

What’s my recommendation? If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times: I follow the AP Stylebook on just about everything, but when a question arises, I defer to Bill Walsh. I suggest that you do the same.

• An animal with a given name is referred to as a he or a she. If you don’t know the name of the dog that bit the mailman, that dog is referred to as an it.

• Mom and Dad are uppercase when you’re writing about them as if those were their names: Mom let me bake cookies. Mom, let me bake cookies! The dog ate Dad’s cookie. Lowercase them when they are not name substitutes: I gave my mom a frog. My dad thought it was funny.

• Articles and prepositions with three or fewer letters are typically lowercase in proper names of movies, books, companies and such. This means that, despite what everyone says about lowercasing the t in that or the w in with, words with four or more letters are uppercase: “Gone With the Wind,” “For Whom the Bell Tolls.” Naturally, it wouldn’t be a part of the English language if it didn’t have a few exceptions:

• When the short word begins or ends the name or title: “On the Road,” “For Whom the Bell Tolls,” “That’s What Friends Are For.”

• When confusion would reign: Dexy’s Midnight Runners had a hit with “Come On Eileen.” Lowercase that O and there are some serious questions raised (not that they weren’t raised by every teenager within earshot anyway, but it’s the principle of the thing). No comma in that title just ups the ante for the uppercase O. “Fiddler on the Roof” doesn’t need an uppercase O (or T, for that matter) because it is what it is; there’s no confusion about the meaning.

• Names of people and companies, when they are being written by those very people or companies, can be capitalized whichever way they choose. If a man named Ebenezer wants to capitalize every other letter of his name, EbEnEzEr  — or eBeNeZeR — can go crazy with the shift key. When you’re the one writing about a person or company, however, stick with conventional capitalization. E.E. Cummings is good. e.e. cummings is weird. “Thirtysomething” (besides being an awesome show that taught me what I had to look forward to in my 30s) is fine to start a sentence; don’t lowercase the initial T just because the show’s logo had it that way. If you tried to follow the style of every logo out there, you’d be an amazing typist, for sure. Just stick with what you learned in grade school: If it starts a sentence, it gets a capital letter. Start a sentence with Ebay and you get a gold star for the day. Start a sentence with eBay and you’re catering.

You used grammar correctly!

• Triple-check the spelling of names. As a gal who spent 35 years as an Abderhalden and had to spell both first and last names each and every time to each and every George and Georgette out there, take it from me: Seeing your name in print correctly is about as big a thrill as any. A spelling gaffe just makes the rest of your work seem sloppy.

That’s it for a happy Monday.

Happy trails!

SAK